-=[ rainbow ]=- 3/97
________
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,##@&::%&&%%::&@##.
#@&:%%000000000%%:&@#
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(oOoOoOoOo) ( : )
)`"""""`( .-.`. .'.-.
/ \ (_ '.Y.' _)
| # | ( .'|'. )
\ / '-' | '-'
jgs `=========`
-=[ bunny ]=- 4/97
(\ /)
\\ //
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/6 6\
( =o= )
`)^(`
/` `\
(_/ \_)
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/ : ; \
\ : ; /
jgs /_/'-'\_\
-=[ Roman profile ]=- 4/97
.=""""=,
><><><><><
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jgs /`~~~~`\
-=[ quarter ]=- 4/97
_.-'~~`~~'-._
.'` B E R `'.
/ I T \
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; /> `. -.| ;
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\ TRUST '.___.-'`" /
`\ /`
'._ 1 9 9 7 _.'
jgs `'-..,,,..-'`
-=[ tiny bicycle ]=-
f_,
jgs ()\()
-=[ mug of beer ]=- 4/97
_, . '__ .
'_(_0o),(__)o().
,o(__),_)o(_)O,(__)o
o(_,-o(_ )(),(__(_)oO)_
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| | | | | | | |O_)
| | | | | | | |
| \ | | | | | |
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'----| | | | | |
| | | | | |
jgs \ \ \ / / /
`"""""""""""""""""`
-=[ light bulb ]=- 4/97
___
.-"` `"-.
.' '.
/ \
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-=[ place setting ]=- 4/97
___ /|
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|||| |||| .' .-'`'-. '. } | / \
|||| \ / / .' '. \ } | ;();
\ / || / ; ; \ \| \ /
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jgs %% %% '-.,___,.-' %% %%
-=[ fish ]=- 4/97
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) ) / `, .' ( (
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
-=[ crosses at Calvary ]=- 4/97
|
\ /
.---.
'-. | | .-'
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`---. .---'
__||__ | | __||__
'-..-' | | '-..-'
|| | | ||
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jgs .' '.
-=[ an old grouch ]=- 4/97
.-'--.
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-=[ mean mouse ]=- 4/97
__ __ _
/-.\ / \ //
\ \|_,_/| / ((
`\ ` `\" \\
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| (0\ /0) | //
\ / //
/`.== 0 ==.`\ ((
/ `~~W~~` \ \\
| , , | ))
\ \ / ///
/`vvvv vvvv`\/
| |
| | | |
jgs / ( ) \
(v(v(v)`=.....=`(v)v)v)
-=[ The First Easter Bunny ]=- 3/97
...THE FIRST EASTER BUNNY... by Francine M. O'Connor
(ASCII Art by joan stark)
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\ This is the story of a long-eared rabbit
/ \ | :: \ who couldn't learn to do the bunny hop.
/ /. \ / ::: | His ears were floppy, his feet were sloppy,
| |::. \ / :::'/ he'd hippity hop, then he'd trip and plop.
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~~~ ':'/`
/ ( So this little rabbit developed the habit
/ 0 _ 0 \ of staying awake when the sun went down.
\/ \_/ \/ He'd stay up all night,
-== '.' | '.' ==- till the morning light, and
/\ '-^-' /\ practice his hopping just outside of town.
\ _ _ /
.-`-((\o/))-`-.
_ / //^\\ \ _ On the first Easter morn,
."o".( , .:::. , )."o". just before dawn,
\o o\\ \:::::/ //o o| He was startled by a bright
\ \\ |:::::| // / and blinding light.
\ \\__/:::::\__// / And Jesus was there in the
\ .:.\ `':::'` /.:. / shimmering glare,
\':: |_ _| ::'/ smiling at that funny bunny's plight.
jgs `---` `"""""` `---`
Don't worry, little lad, and don't be so sad, .-"-.
for humankind will celebrate this special day. .'=^=^='.
You must bring the word to every beast and bird /=^=^=^=^=\
that I have risen and am in the world to stay. :^= HAPPY =^;
|^ EASTER! ^|
You should've seen that cottontail hop away, :^=^=^=^=^=^:
feeling mighty proud to be the chosen one. \=^=^=^=^=/
Though this story is quite old, it can now be retold `.=^=^=.'
to make little children smile on Easter morn. `~~~`
-=[ rabbits ]=- 3/97
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~~~ ':'/`
/ (
/ 0___0 \
\/ \_/ \/
-== '.' | '.' ==-
/\ '-^-' /\
\ _ _ /
`-((\o/))-`
jgs //^\\
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. |_/ :::'/
`--` \' ~ ':'/`
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/ o___o \
\/ \_/ \/
-= .'. | .'. =-
/\ /I\ /\
\ /
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jgs /` `\
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~ ':'/`
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/ 0___0 \
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-= .'. | .'. =-
/\ /^\ /\
\ _ _ /
_ `((\o/))` _
."o". /` //^\\ `\ ."o".
\o o\ / \.:./ \ /o o/
\ \| |:::| // /
\ \\__/:::\__// /
\ .:.\ `'''` /.:. /
\':: |_ _| ::'/
jgs `---` `"""` `---`
__ /^\
.' \ / :.\
/ \ | :: \
/ /. \ / ::: |
| |::. \ / :::'/
| / \::. | / :::'/
`--` \' `~~~ ':'/`
/ (
/ 0 _ 0 \
\/ \_/ \/
-== '.' | '.' ==-
/\ '-^-' /\
\ _ _ /
.-`-((\o/))-`-.
_ / //^\\ \ _
."o".( , .:::. , )."o".
\o o\\ \:::::/ //o o|
\ \\ |:::::| // /
\ \\__/:::::\__// /
\ .:.\ `':::'` /.:. /
\':: |_ _| ::'/
jgs `---` `"""""` `---`
-=[ Prayer to Computer Angel ]=- 3/97
_____________
|.-----------.|
A Prayer to my || _ ||
COMPUTER ANGEL: || (\o/) ||
|| /_\ ||
Guide my keystrokes, ||___________||
Keep my programs alive, `-)-------(-'
Protect me from viruses, [=== -- o ]--.
Back up my drive. __'---------'__ \
[::::::::::: :::] )
Amen. `""'"""""'""""`/T\
jgs \_/
_____________
_ *** |.--- *** ---.|
( `\( ) * A Prayer to my || (`\( )/`) ||
`> /~\_I COMPUTER ANGELS: || > /~\ < ||
(_/ /\/ || (// \\) ||
\ \ Guide my keystrokes, ||___`| |`___||
jgs / / Keep my programs alive, `-)--|_|--(-'
\/ Protect me from viruses, [=== -- o ]--.
` Back up my drive. __'---------'__ \
[::::::::::: :::] )
Amen. `""'"""""'""""`/T\
jgs \_/
-=[ snails ]=- 3/97
oo .--. oo .--. oo .--.
jgs \\(____)_ \\(____)_ \\(____)_
`~~~~~~~` `~~~~~~~` `~~~~~~~`
-=[ raccoon ]=- 3/97
__ .-.
.-"` .`'. /\\|
_(\-/)_" , . ,\ /\\\/
{(#b^d#)} . ./, |/\\\/
`-.(Y).-` , | , |\.-`
/~/,_/~~~\,__.-`
////~ // ~\\
jgs ==`==` ==` ==`
-=[ truck ]=- 3/97
.--------.__
|::::::::|[_I___,
|_.-.____I__.-~;|
jgs `(_)--------(_)"
-=[ Pop N. Fresh ]=- 3/97
.=~~~~~~~=.
{:.. }
\::._:._.:. /
`~| O |~`
.'`~~~~~~~`'.
/ o o \
: )(_)( ;
\ '.___.' /
`.,__`=' _,.'
jgs /__\V/__\
/\\
/ / \
\/`\/
-=[ sea monster ]=- 3/97
_..--~~--.._
.-~` `~-.
/ .------. .------. \
/ ( ()( () \
\ '------' '------' /
) (
/ .-. .-. .-. .-. \
( ( / / ) ) \ \ ) )
\ \/ / \/ / /\ / /
\ \ /\ ( ( / )/ /
) ) ) ) )( /( (
jgs / /( / / / \/ \ \
/ / \ / / ) / / \ \
( ( \ \ / / ( ( \ ) )
\ \ \ \/ / /) ) / /
\__) \ \( (/ / (__/
/ /) )\ ( ( \ \
( ((__// \ \ \ ) )
\__) / /\ \__) /
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\__)/ / \__)
(__/
-=[ fish ]=- 3/97
\
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`\ .' \
}\/ ~~ o\
}/\ )) _}
,/ /`. /`
}/
jgs /
-=[ biplane ]=- 3/97
__/\__
`==/\==`
____________/__\____________
/____________________________\
__||__||__/.--.\__||__||__
/__|___|___( >< )___|___|__\
_/`--`\_
jgs (/------\)
-=[ biohazard symbol ]=- 3/97
_ _
.-_; ;_-.
/ / \ \
| | | |
\ \.---./ /
.-"~ .---. ~"-.
,`.-~/ .'`---`'. \~-.`,
'` | | \(_)/ | | `'
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jgs '-._ _.-'^'-._ _.-'
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dOP' dOYO()OPOb 'YOb
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YOb. YOdOOOObOP .dOP
jgs YOOOOOOP YOOOOOOP
'''' ''''
-=[ dragon fly ]=- 3/97
.-.
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"==.__:-:__.=="
"==.__/~|~\__.=="
"==._( Y )_.=="
.-'~~""~=--...,__\/|\/__,...--=~""~~'-.
( ..=\=/=.. )
`'-. ,.-"`;/=\ ;"-.,_ .-'`
`~"-=-~` .-~` |=| `~-. `~-=-"~`
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jgs .-~` .' |=| `. `~-.
(` _,.-="` |=| `"=-.,_ `)
`~"~"` |=| `"~"~`
|=|
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/=\
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-=[ flies ]=- 3/97
_,_ __ __
._(@I@)_. / \-/ \
.--{___}--. ._\ | /_.
.-/ Y \-. .__\__Y__/__.
/ | \ _{___}_
jgs \__/-\__/ ' (@I@) '
~^~
-=[ an Irish Quiz ]=- 3/97
.-"^`\ /`^"-.
.' ___\ /___ `.
/ /.---. O .---.\ \
| // '-. _o/0\o_ .-' \\ |
| ;| \ (0\|W|/0) / |; |
\ || |\_) \~_~_~/ (_/| || /
\ | \ . \ ; .-.^.-. ; / . / | /
'\_\ \\ \ \ \ / ' \ / / / // /_/'
\\ \ \ \ \ / / / / //
jgs `'-\_\_\ \ / /_/_/-'`
` '. .' `
`
__, ,__) __,__) ,__) ____, __, ,__) .--.
(--|__| _ (--| ,_ ' , |_ (--/_| ,_ _ (--\ | _ )
__| |(_)(_|_) __|__ | |/_)| | / | | (/_ \_|(_)(_| .-'
( ( |_, / (___| |
.
.-.-.
( : ) ~|~|_~(_~~|~ \|/~\| ||~) ~|~ /~\ ( IRISH
.-.\ ' /.-. | |_ ,_) | |\_/\_/|~\ _|_.\_X. QUOTIENT )
(_.. 'Y' .._)
( /|\ )
jgs '-' | '-'
.-.
(_" \
1. Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? / `\ \
^ ) )
2. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? ( (
.:. ) )
3. _oOoOo Where does ( (
[_||||| green beer \ \
||||| come from? `\|
~~~~~
4. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
5. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
6. What's Irish and stays out all night? _oOoOoOo_
(oOoOoOoOo)
7. How did the Irish jig get started? )`"""""`(
/ \
8. Why do leprechauns have pots o' gold? | G O L D |
\ /
9. What's an Irish windbreaker? `=========`
10. On St. Patrick's Day, while people are searching for tiny,
little leprechauns, what are leprechauns searching for?
@@ .##@@::;%%&&00'
@><@ .###@@::;%%&&00'
________) .###@@::;%%&&00'
| | .###@@::;%%&&00'
_ _|===LI===|_ .###@@::;%%&&00'
/ \_(____________) .###@@::;%%&&00'
\ / (88 6 6 88) .###@@::;%%&&00'
\/\ 88: 7 :88` .###@@::;%%&&00'
\/\ 888'=='888' .###@@::;%%&&00'
\ \_'888888'_________.###@@::;%%&&00'
\___<\""/>_____/_/_-'##@Oo@o%&&00'
/ >< \ .##oO@Oo@O@o&00'
/__/--\__\ (oO@OoO@@o@oO@@o)
'-.______.-' /`"""""""""""""`\
jgs _|_||_|_ | Happy |
___LI)||(LI___ | St. Patrick's |
( ~~ || ~~ ) \ Day! /
`-----''-----` '.___________.'
The ANSWERS:
1. He couldn't afford plane fare.
2. Real rocks would look funny.
3. Who cares? As long as it keeps coming!
4. He's Dublin over with laughter.
5. They're always a little short.
6. Pati O'Furniture!
7. Lots of beer and too few restrooms!
8. They like to "go" first class.
9. Someone who's had too much corned beef and cabbage!
10. Tiny, little women!
-= Give yourself a point for each right answer,
and put an "O" in front of your name! =-
-joan
(funny from an American Greetings card/ASCII art by me)
-=[ Four Leaf Clover-
converted from solid ASCII/artist unknown ]=- 3/97
,-'~~~~-. .-~~~~`-.
.' \ / `.
,-'` \ / `-.
/ , `\/ .' \
( `\ || /~ )
~. `\ || /` .~
`~~._____ `\ || /` ____.~~`
___!!!GOOD><LUCK!!!___
__.-` /|| \ `-.__
,-` /` || `\ `-.
( /` || `\ `)
\ .~ |Y| `~ /
'\ / | \ /`
`\ / ( \ /`
`-._____.-~ \ `~._____.-`
\
`~-.__
`'~~~~-.
-=[ Easter Eggs ]=- 3/97
.-^-.
.'=^=^='.
/=^=^=^=^=\
.-~-. :^= HAPPY =^;
.'~~*~~'.|^ EASTER! ^|
/~~*~~~*~~\^=^=^=^=^=^:
:~*~~~*~~~*~;\.-*))`*-,/
|~~~*~~~*~~|/* ((* *'.
:~*~~~*~~~*| *)) * *\
\~~*~~~*~~| * ((* * /
`.~~*~~.' \ *)) * .'
jgs `~~~` '-.((*_.-'
___
.-*)) `*-.
/* ((* *'.
| *)) * *\
| * ((* * /
\ *)) * .'
'-.((*_.-'
.-"-.
.'=^=^='.
/=^=^=^=^=\
:^= HAPPY =^;
|^ EASTER! ^|
:^=^=^=^=^=^:
\=^=^=^=^=/
`.=^=^=.'
`~~~`
-=[ an oval - undecorated egg? ]=-
.-"-.
.' '.
/ \
: ;
| |
: :
\ /
`. .'
jgs `~~~`
-=[ America Offline Logo ]=- 3/97
/\
//\\
// \\
// \\
// \\
// ,-''-.\\
// /'``'. \\\
//.-':' | |\\
/// /` / / \\
//| | ,:-' \\
// \ '.__,-/ \\
jgs // `-...-' \\
//___AMERICA__OFFLINE___\\
'--------------------------`
-=[ guy falling/one going up ]=-
| :
:
| :
: |
:
\O__
#| o
|\ /|\
/ / |\
` ` |/
``
: |
: |
| :
: |
:
-=[ small birthday cake ]=-
,,,,,
_|||||_
{~*~*~*~}
__{*~*~*~*}__
jgs `-------------`
-=[ taking Llizard away ]=-
O O
/| /|\
/\ `- >8^^^^^^-. -`/\
/ / `~~~~~~~~~~` / /
-= [ Erin go "Braughless" ! ]=- &nbbsp;
_____// \\_____
" ----( `\/` )----"
jgs `~``~`
-=[ dentist ]=-
.----.
===(_)== OPEN WIDE!
// 6 6 \\ /
( 7 )
\ '--' /
\_ ._/
__) (__
/"`/`\`V/`\`\
/ \ `Y / \
jgs / [DR]\_ |_/ \
-=[ mugs of root(?) beer ]=- 3/97
.:. .:. .:.
_oOoOo _oOoOo oOoOo_
[_||||| [_||||| |||||_]
||||| ||||| |||||
~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~
-=[ snake ]=- 3/97
.-.
(_" \
/`\ \
^ ) )
( (
) )
( (
\ \
jgs `\|
-=[ cats & birthday greetings ]=-&nbbsp; 3/97
|\=/| H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y !
_ /6 6\
)) =\_Y_/= ,,,,, |\=/|.-"""-.
(( / ^ \ _|||||_ /6 6\ \
\\ /| | |\ {~*~*~*~} =\_Y_/= (_ ;\
jgs \( | | | ) __{*~*~*~*}__ ^//_/-/__///
`"" ""` `-------------` ((
`
-=[ small butterfly ]=- 3/97
, ,
{ \w/ }
`>!<`
jgs (/^\)
' '
-=[ butterfly ]=- 3/97
__ \/ __
/o \{}/ o\
\ () /
`> /\ <`
jgs (o/\/\o)
) (
-=[ tulip ]=- 3/97
,
/\^/`\
| \/ |
| | |
\ \ /
'\\//'
||
||
||
|| ,
|\ || |\
| | || | |
| | || / /
\ \||/ /
jgs `\\//`
^^^^^^^^
-=[ savage/bushman? ]=- 3/97
\\\\\//////
\\\\\\//////
[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]
/////////\\\\\\
/\ //// ~0 ( 0~ \\\\
/ \ //(, 8-_\-8 ,)\\
/ \ //|\ .===. /|\\
|/||\| \ '===' /*
|| \__.__/
_.=||=._ .---'@ @'---.
/| || |\ / '@ @' \
_||_ / . Y . _/\
/ _))-' /|'---{@}---'|\_/\
| _) _.' | --:-- | \ \
\___)-' | --:-- | \ \
|| ; --:-- ; / /
|| \____.____/ / /
|| .{{{{{{{{}}}}}/ /`
|| {{{{{{{{{{{{{}} |
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|| {{{{{{{{{{{{{{}
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|| '{}}}}}}}}}}}}'
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| |'-'|'-'|
|| | | |
|| | | |
|| |___| |
|| (___) }
|| / | \
jgs || (oooO Oooo)
-=[ arrows ]=- 3/97
_.-"/______________________/////
jgs `'-.\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\\\
\\\\\_____________________\"-._
jgs /////~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/.-'`
-=[ moonshine jug ]=- 3/97
...
::: _
.-' ':o)
; `;
| .-----. |
| : XXX : |
| '-----' |
jgs '========='
-=[ Olympic Rings ]=- 3/97
.-=-. .-=-. .-=-.
/ \ / \ / \
| | | |
\ ./=\. ./=\. /
'-=/' '\-/' '\=-'
| | |
\ / \ /
jgs '-=-' '-=-'
.-=-. .-=-. .-=-.
/.""".\ /.""".\ /.""".\
|| ||| ||| ||
\'.__./=\.___./=\.___./
'-=/.""".\-/.""".\=-'
|| ||| ||
\.___./ \.___./
jgs '-=-' '-=-'
-=[ paw prints ]=- 3/97
_ _
_(_)(_)_
(_).--.(_)
/ \
\ / _ _
'--' _(_)(_)_
(_).--.(_)
/ \
\ /
jgs '--'
-=[ Snoopy ]=- 3/97
.-~~~~-.
/ __ \
| / \ / `~~~~~-.
|| | 0 @
|| | _. |
\| | \ /
\ / /`~~~~~~`
('--'""`)
jgs /`"""""`\
-=[ pizza ]=- 3/97
_....._
_.:`.--|--.`:._
.: .'\o | o /'. '.
// '. \ o| / o '.\
//'._o'. \ |o/ o_.-'o\\
|| o '-.'.\|/.-' o ||
||--o--o-->|<o-----o-||
\\ o _.-'/|\'-._o o//
\\.-' o/ |o\ o '-.//
'.'.o / o| \ o.'.'
`-:/.__|__o\:-'
`"--=--"`
-=[ birthday cake ]=- 3/97
, , , , ,
# # # # #
_#_#_#_#_#_
{_` ` ` ` `_}
_{_._._._._._}_
{_ H A P P Y _}
_{_._._._._._._._}_
{_ B I R T H D A Y _}
.---{_._._._._._._._._._}---.
( `"""""""""""""""""""""` )
jgs `~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
-=[ parading elephants ]=- 3/97
___.-~"~-._ __....__
.' ` \ ~"~ ``-.
/` _ ) `\ `\
/` a) / | `\
:` / | \
<`-._|` .-. ( / . `;\\ _.-~"~-.
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_ /:--` | / / .' \\ / / |~=-=--.
("\ /`/ | ' ' / ;`'._/ ,;_ | / ".
`\'\_/`/ .\ /`~`=-.: / ``.,__/ ` `| `"~` \
`._.' /`\ | `\ /( .--' / / |\
/ /\ | `Y / \ / ____/\ | / `"
jgs J / Y | | /`\ \ /__/ | |`-...-\ |
/ | | | | | | | '"" | | |`\ |
"---" /___| /___| /__| /__| /__/__|
'""" '""" '""" '""" '"""'""
-=[ elephant ]=- 3/97
_.-~"~-.
;`a) ) `\
\-./_ / |~=-=--.
`-._)_ | / ".
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-=[ rocking horse ]=- 3/97
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-=[ woman in the moon ]=- 3/97
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-=[ a peek into the night sky ]=- 3/97
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-=[ Love Story ]=- 3/97 -- on THOUGHTS/JOKES page
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